I have always been about 200-220 lbs throughout my adult life, but due to health and wanting to start a family with my husband, I had my operation 2 weeks ago. I ballooned to 235 lbs before my op.
I noticed years ago that when I am smaller I always got positive reactions from shop workers, people on public transport, and meeting people for the first time. People smiled at me more. If I went to ask a stranger a question, like the time or directions, they were always happy to help.
The bigger I got the more I noticed people weren’t so nice and didn’t give me eye contact. If I went into a clothes shop where they didn’t sell my size (just to window shop and see styles) when I was big the shop staff would look at me and make me feel uncomfortable.
This didn’t happen as much when I was smaller- I felt more confident at job interviews when smaller and had good looking men attracted to me.
I would say for a long time because of this I didn’t do anything about my weight years ago because I didn’t feel that urgent need to up until recently. Obviously 200lbs is still big, but because my life was great I ignored my weight problem.
It was only when I started getting the doctors saying I could develop hypertension and/or diabetes and that I had problems getting pregnant that I thought my weight was a big problem.
I am a confident person and think that this has helped me cope with how to tell people and how I will adjust to how people may treat me.
I am also very lucky that my husband has been very very supportive and has taken the opportunity to get fit himself and eat more healthy food. He says he loves me and is looking forward to his slim wife and that I have a pretty face but my body will match how attractive I am.
He said he always loved me even when I was big but he knew I wasn’t happy and that made him feel unhappy. He used to try and encourage me to eat better and go to the gym, but he likes his food too so we would talk the other out of it!
All my family has been supportive and ‘most’ of my work colleagues have been great. Only one has basically not spoken to me. I suspect this is because she lost 20lb over 6 months last year, but regained it over Xmas – I think she is jealous and resentful, which is her problem.
I may loose friends over the next few years but I did this for myself…if along they way I make new friends and people are nicer to me then that’s a bonus. I have accepted that slim people are seen as more attractive, are more likely to be promoted at work and live longer happier life’s on the whole.