Jealousy After Bariatric Surgery

Question Below Submitted By:  

Carol (a patient from Queensland)

I had bariatric surgery on October 12, 2011 and have lost 32 kilograms since (it’s now March 19, 2012). I exercise more and feel great.

Unfortunately, I’ve encountered a lot of jealousy from family members… female of course. I try to stay as positive as I can, but they make very nasty comments and I can’t say that I was prepared for that. It is hurtful and upsetting.

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Patient Responses to the Question Above

Life after surgery

by: Carol De Waard

For me this is the best thing i did for myself; I encourage others to do this for themselves. It is nearly four years on i haven't gained back the weight and i walk 4kms a day and fifteen minutes on the spin bike.Just came back from a European holiday i walked everyday very good for your body and mind. For me im very determined the weight isnt coming back to me left it behind kms ago Lol, Goodluck to all those people who go through with this operation.


by: Yvonne McCarthy

I have written many blog posts about it and I explain it like this.

When you are the holder of the "fattest friend trophy" and you lose weight that means you have to give it to someone else and they don't want it!! When the dynamics of any group changes everyone will fight to return it to normal.

The truth is....what people think of us isn't our business.

It's not about you.

Here's part of my post: "If having others believing in you and your dream was a requirement for success, most of us would never accomplish anything. We need to base our decisions about what we want to do on our goals and desires, not the goals, desires, opinions and judgments of your parents, friends, spouse, children and co-workers. Quit worrying what other people think about you and follow your heart. Most of the time nobody’s thinking about you at all! They are too busy worrying about their own lives and if they are thinking about you at all, they are wondering what you are thinking about them! Think about it….all the time you are wasting worrying about what other people think about your ideas, your goals, your clothes, your hair, and your home could be better spent on thinking about and doing the things that will achieve your goals." I don't think you want to gain weight to please the ones that are jealous.

That's ridiculous isn't it? You can't live your life for someone else and certainly not someone that can't be happy for you.

Don't use your energy to think about this another moment because you can't change them.

They will either adjust or they won't and you should spend your time with those who are happy for you.

This is very common.

Part of our disease is pleasing others.

It's time for you now. Hugs, Y

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