I just had gastric sleeve surgery 3 weeks ago. I have to say the first week out, I realized that my life has truly changed.
I don’t cook as much for my family because I’m not hungry as much or because I am on a liquid diet. So the common thing of cooking and smelling food in the house is not as frequent, which I think my son misses.
So, cooking was a relaxing part of my life, I miss this. But, I have now started cooking home meals again as my family needs to eat.
The problem I have had is with my mother. The surgery has become a point of contention between her and me. I feel so alone in this journey and I’m trying to navigate my way with my new stomach and eating habits.
My mother has been very critical. She does not understand the surgery, even though she is a medical professional and just badgers me about what I consume and drink now. I tell her that I cannot drink a whole cupful of soup in one sitting. With this surgery you have to take small baby sips of liquid, as I told her the stomach can hold about 1 -2 oz. only.
She goes ballistic talking about that is not healthy , “Oh my God” as she states. Just the ongoing criticism about the surgery.
Yet when I was dieting on my own, she would always asks “What are you doing about the weight?” Now that I have done something, she is just not supportive and can’t and will never understand my decision because she weighs 150 pounds.
So, overall, I have had to keep this to myself. I will only communicate with people who have had the surgery or are is about to go on this journey. I will not tell anyone else in my family or friends other than the 3 people I told.
I think if you tell a lot of people, well, there is the fact of accountability. People will expect you to be slim real quick because you had surgery.
But what happens if you don’t lose all the weight? I think I need to be accountable to myself for weight loss and not other people.
It should be understood that some people will never try or will understand their loved one going through with weight loss surgery. So I say be careful of whom you share it with.
Patient Responses to the Question Above
Agreed
by: Tiffnic
Great point...my family is sooo critical. Thank you for bringing this to my attention!
Sabotage & Success
by: TRICIA
This is a very good point. Going through this journey, I feel you have to surround yourself with people who will support you. Anyone who isn't supportive needs to be held at bay until you are strong enough to be able to ignore or correct them in their behaviours. I am just starting this journey myself, and I feel that most of us are so used to failing and being criticized that it's hard to stand up and say "Enough is enough. If you can't support me then I can't be around you right now.", but in the end, we have to take care of ourselves and put our needs first while going through this. Otherwise, it's another self-sabotage and we've done more harm than good.
Best of luck to everyone.
In The Same Boat
by: Mel
I have mentioned WLS to family and friends and always get the "you're just taking the easy way out" feedback. I do have one family member who has been nothing but supportive. In fact, she mentioned everyone else taking the "easy way out" when they drive to work instead of walking, or calling/texting instead of writing letters, or even buying groceries at the store instead of growing their own in the backyard. All of which can be considered the "easy way out."
I am in the beginning stages of this journey, and no opinion is going to change what I've already decided for myself and children, but it is tough knowing that I have to keep this to myself to avoid the negativity from others. Even those I consider to be very close.
I'm thankful I came across this website and these posts. I have come across a ton of helpful information to use with navigating these waters. Good luck to you and remember, this decision is for you and you only.
Who to tell
by: Nikki
I only told a few people I knew would be supportive that I was having the surgery. Although my mother was supportive, my siblings were not.
My mother insisted I tell them prior to surgery. It was a mistake.
However, should something had gone wrong I didn't want them to hear about what I was doing from someone else. They needed to hear it from me.
I completely understand your situation. But now that it is done, I would encourage you to point out the positives in your life. If people are still angry & nit picky, then they are jealous-including your mother.
Unfortunately I lost my mother 3 months after my surgery. So I can say with great confidence that there are more important things to put energy into other than nit picking someone else's life or diet. You made this decision for yourself, not anyone else & you don't need anyone else's praise or acknowledgement. Be happy with you and everything else will fall in line.
I'm sorry that your mother doesn't realize you may have just bought yourself more time on this earth...more time with her & those you love. And believe me, this isn't the easy way out. It was easier to eat what I wanted, the way I wanted it.
You've made a lot of changes in your life & they weren't easy. But they will last a lifetime if you stick with the plan.
Thank you all
by: Miki
Reading all your comments have been a comfort to me. I see my surgeon on the 27th and have been very nervous. I haven't told my work because I know how negative they will be.
You really validated my decision. I am excited to live a healthier longer life. We are raising our grandson and I have got to be able to be around for him in the future.
God bless you all,
Miki
Permission to share your story
by: Tiberia
I would like to share this story in a writing. Can I get the contact information of this person to ask her personally.