I lost 25 lbs prior to my lap band surgery on May 6, 2011 and 25 lbs after my surgery, but I have gained back about 10 lbs so far. On May 8, 2011, my husband and I had to take my 79 year old mother to the emergency room because she fell in the middle of the night in our home. She was diagnosed with peripheral artery disease and ended up having 12 surgeries, including an amputation of her right foot, until she passed away in January this past year.
I was constantly at the hospital until her passing and I didn’t really keep track of my calorie intake, but it really went downhill once she passed away. I used food and wine to cope with the loss.
I definitely have gotten way off track. During this past year, I have been reporting in monthly to the bariatric clinic, but I feel like a failure. I wasn’t expecting to lose much this past year, given everything that was going on, but I was hoping to maintain the previously lost weight.
I don’t like going to the support group because usually everyone there has just been banded and look to me for support. The last time I went there was someone who had been banded longer than me, but she just wanted to show everyone how much she had lost and stated that you won’t lose weight if you eat ice cream all day. Now I don’t want to go back.
Has anyone else dealt with a great loss following your surgery? How did you get back on track?
Patient Responses to the Question Above
Dealing with Loss and Weight Gain After Lap Band Surgery
by: Jan
Hi: First, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother. It doesn't matter how strong you are, you're not a failure when you need to 'check out' to deal with your own issues. Losing a loved one trumps all and you must have time to regroup.
How can one concentrate on losing weight when the pain of loss makes it difficult to breathe? The pain is inside of you and no matter which way you turn, it won't go away. There are no words that will ease your pain, but there are steps you can take help yourself.
Put things into perspective. Give yourself time to settle issues with your Mother's death. Don't think about weight loss until your emotions are under control. Allow yourself time to grieve and to have a peaceful heart.
Don't add stress to yourself by worrying about others. You don't have the energy to deal with their weight loss right now. Friends will understand; those that don't understand don't matter.
Prepare for your weight loss. You have already lost 40 lbs! You have a lot less to lose than several months ago, right?? Just because your weight loss has stalled or regressed doesn't mean your finished; you are just beginning.
You have the lap band in place; the right tool is there just waiting for you. Sneak up on it!! When you're ready, try these steps:
* Set a goal to lose 8-10 lbs a month. Each 10 lbs is a dress size!
* Don't ride the roller coaster! Weigh every Sunday morning, butt naked! No matter what the scales read, don't weigh again until the next Sunday.
* Eat 'Lean & Green.' Nothing white or yellow except fish and chicken. Fill up with green veggies, fresh fruit, and lean meat. Bake, broil, boil, or grill.
* Don't count calories or carbs; eat smaller portions. You will feel satisfied with less. If you feel hungry, consider an adjustment.
* Remember the lap band will not do the job on its own. Work with the band, not against it.
* Exercise will help you lose faster and has many other health benefits; however, don't set yourself up to fail. If you know you will not adhere to an aggressive workout plan, don't embark on one.
* Remember you are doing this because you want to live longer; to feel good & be free of excessive weight, aches, pains, and health issues.
My friend, others will be inspired by what you do. Being honest with yourself is the greatest gift you can give. Stop waking up dreading what happened yesterday. Look into that mirror every morning and be thankful that you have another day to do your best.
Jan
I so understand
by: Yvonne McCarthy (Bariatric Girl)
I lost my mom after a long battle with cancer.
It happened before my surgery but after that I didn't care what I ate anymore and didn't even try to lose weight.I think you should try going back to support group and possibly check out a 12 step group too.
You are trying to numb your pain with food and wine.
It is nearly impossible to handle that kind of trauma and get back on track. You lucky you haven't piled something else on top of that. Nobody should have to go through all that.
It's time for you to take care of yourself now.
Your mom wouldn't want anything having to do with her to hurt you.
There is some excellent lap band support here and I'll check back to make sure they've answered you but I can promise that everything looks pretty horrible right now because you're looking through those "weight regain" glasses.
Nothing looks good through those.I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time.
You can do this.
Surround yourself with positive people and continue to do the "next right thing" just like you did here by writing this post.
I'm ten years out and have maintained my weight loss but I am truly afraid of some horrible loss kicking me in the butt and taking it all away.
I struggled last year because my dog was sick.
It makes perfect sense to me.
Hang in there.
Get some help.
Do you have access to a therapist to help you through this? Please let me know OK?
Hugs, Y
Related Pages:-
- Bariatric Diet (What you eat)
- Bariatric Eating (How you eat)
- Bariatric Vitamins- Life After Weight Loss Surgery
- Weight Loss Surgery Support
- Life after bariatric surgery
- experiences from other patients
- Exercise after bariatric surgery
I just lost my pastor and I too turned to food
by: Kathryn Johnson
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my pastor two weeks ago and that was just as hard for me as when I lost my father. I had my surgery last year in September 2015. I lost 80lbs. I gained 13 back. I weighed yesterday, I haven't been eating right. Ice cream has been my friend. Also, got sick with the band, it was too tight and I had to get some of the liquid taken out. That also caused some weight gain.
In January I'm going to go back and get my band adjusted to the right feel for me. I am going to cut out the ice cream's, breads, and just all those comfort foods that we tend to crave once we're dealing with the loss of someone or any type of grieving so I will be getting on top of that. I look forward to losing those 13lbs pounds back and more. I'm very happy with the band I have to work with it and not against it